Volunteer experience at Dala Kiye
Living the experience of Karungu, of the Dala Kiye, takes on a different meaning for each of those who have lived it. And I would like to share with you my experience, which is very intimate and personal, but in which, someone who has had the privilege of staying in that place and sharing moments with children, maybe he will recognize himself in some traits.
Africa in me was born as a “dream” and from an early age I always said that I wanted to become a lay missionary in Africa. But we know that too often we tend to set aside our dreams and for convenience we let ourselves be conditioned by the supposed certainties of a life that does not contemplate the courage to follow their deep aspirations to the end. At least until something happens that makes you believe in your dream again. And then you realize that the realization of a dream brings in itself its eternal non-fulfilment: it is part of a process that does not end, but opens you to new possibilities, wider and deeper goals, so that the dream is never brought to completion but is transformed every time into something more to be realized.
More than their smiles and their extraordinary beauty, which anyone who has approached them is able to perceive, I would like to tell you how much they can be great mentors, masters for us: they have within themselves a strength of mind and a maturity that for us here it is unimaginable and unattainable. They lost their parents at a very young age and, before reaching the center, many of them struggled between life and death in a hospital bed, were tossed from one relative to another, from one hut to another. , from one dusty street to another. Often they have been neglected, they have not received care, food, attention, medicine, love. They have suffered in body and spirit, they have the full awareness of being HIV positive. Yet never have I been able to meet such mature and aware children, with a great desire to live, children rich in love who teach you a great lesson in life every day.
Karungu, Dala Kiye is for me a place where it is possible to “place oneself at the service” of others as a basic attitude, in a full and total way, that allows us to live a message of faith that transforms words into concrete deeds. Without pretending to be faithful interpreter of it but in the humble attempt to be an instrument of love that manages to transform reality. Transforming the deep feeling of love towards them into actions and behaviors that are aimed at their good.
Being ‘next to them‘, also in the meaning of proximity, closeness, to be able to grasp the less evident, more hidden aspects. Learn to recognize them by name and consider them as unique, distinct entities, with their own individuality, not only as part of the group of children, exactly as they do, recognizing you immediately and calling you by your name.
Building, day by day, a relationship of true trust, which is far from obvious. In fact, it must be conquered in small steps because children expect you not to lie to them, they create expectations for you and you are called not to disappoint them. The suffering and losses that they have already experienced extensively in their lives lead them to measure each other, to initially take distances to be able to check if it is really trustworthy, if it is really attentive to their needs, if moved by genuine interest and love towards them. And we owe him respect. But if the trials are overcome, it can really create a climate of deep affection, mutual trust, complicity, almost family intimacy. And it is thanks to this intimacy that rites are created that increasingly consolidate relationships.
Sitting with them at the dinner table then becomes a moment of deep intimacy and sharing, where they feel heard, free to express opinions on the activities carried out during the day, to express their needs, sometimes of a very practical nature, where you also let yourself go to make each other jokes, where many of them spontaneously offer you food from their plate or a piece of the fruit they are eating.
It is a sign of deep acceptance of you when, by offering you their food, they say “Karibu, Monica”, you are welcome here. They can perceive you as one of them, thanks to the fact that you have sat several times among them, you ate their own food and you did it using your hands, as they do, thus trying to break down any cultural barrier and these gestures that you have made, this attention that you have placed on them is understood and very appreciated.
So it happens every day when you carry out with them the creative activities that you carefully organized for months from home, when they have fun with you doing chores with paper, like masks, when they spy on you secretly while you organize the treasure hunt, which is one of their passions after soccer.
But you experience the greatest intimacy in the evening, when they ask you to share the most important moments with them, when every evening at 7 they sit around the table in their little houses and take their antiretrovirals with great care , when they ask you to spend the evening with them, reading fairy tales, dancing and singing or doing other activities and asking you to sit among them, on the ground, during group prayer, before going to bed. They want to share every moment of the day with you, from morning to evening and you feel happy and honored for this.
And so also the rite of the last day, before your departure for Italy, takes on a deep and intimate meaning.
The last night you spend it all together to eat, then you are in one of the houses and together you sing, you dance, you read fairy tales and then, one by one you accompany them in their bedrooms and, with the kiss of goodnight, you say: see you soon, I’ll be back as soon as possible.
Because of the trust they place in you, they know it’s never goodbye, just goodbye. Because they learned that behind your words “I will come back as soon as I can” there really is all your effort to get back to them as soon as possible.
They know this, because every day you show it to them, with your presence beside them even when you are far away, when they receive from you fairy tales to read in the evening, your messages, your letters, where you tell them a little about the life you live in Italy, where you look with commitment for the right words so that you do not create an dependence among yourselves but only a great affection, which is renewed at every meeting, and learn to appreciate what they receive living at the Dala Kiye .
The awareness of being loved even by those who are far away manages to instill in them a great joy and serenity. In addition to the miracle of physical transformation, which can be seen in them a few months after arrival at the Dala Kiye, following medical care, the antiretrovirals they regularly take, the high quality of food with which they can feed, the healthy and protected environment, to the attentions they receive, it is the certainty of being truly loved that contributes to their well-being.
Even the moment of greetings, hugs, handshakes, tears is shared by all intimately and with great affection. They know that you too, like them, are suffering from the departure, but they know that they will be able to wait for your next return, just as you will have to do, day after day.
To them all my love, my gratitude and my commitment to give a sense, or rather, the true sense.
Monica Marinoni
